Let's Talk About Sex

Sex With Ashley

Ashley is a "Sexfluencer" whose goal is to help women create a more intimate, exciting, fulfilling sex life. She created her personal brand and blog, Sex With Ashley as a tool to help women feel comfortable discussing their sexual desires as well as release all the negative B.S. that holds them back from experiencing the best sex imaginable. Likewise her CBD Sexual Wellness Company, Bedtanicals is on a mission to provide luscious, organic CBD lubrication and increased pleasure to people with vulvas and vaginas.

We were interested in speaking with Ashley about maintaining and elevating a healthy sex life.

What is it about the longevity of a relationship that can put couples’ sex lives in a drought?

One word, “life." Life can affect a couple's sex live in a major way. Life can be things like children, sickness, stress, depression, care and death of a parent, and just being too comfortable over time can create periods of droughts within couples.

What is the first step to getting out of the drought?

I think the first step would to be to acknowledge that there is a problem and be willing to work through it as a couple.

Why is there shame around women expressing what they want sexually from their partners?

There is shame around women expressing their sexual desires because it is something that society looks at as a “no-no.” Men are taught to express themselves sexually from an early age. Women are taught that our bodies and sexual identities are attached to men. Our sexual pleasure is not as important as the man; hence why we view women who are sexual liberated as whores or sluts because they go against the society norms.

You sell CBD products. How can CBD enhance our levels of intimacy and pleasure and where can we purchase your products?

CBD can alleviate barriers during sex. These barriers include reducing pain during penetration, enhance sensation, stimulate arousal, increase the intensity and frequency of orgasms. My products can be purchased on my website, or at local pop up shops and vendor shows around North Carolina.

How can we begin to navigate a space around sex as it pertains to our mental health and healthy practices?

We start by starting. You can introduce sex conversations gradually with our children. We start making sex talk a weekly/monthly routine within our relationships. We can't navigate something we are too afraid to talk about. By encouraging open sexual communication in baby steps, we allow people to get comfortable with tit and over time it becomes a normal practice and less taboo.

On your website, there is a picture of a black couple in bed. We can see their feet & legs. Black people are not usually apart of the photo stock when advertising sex, especially healthy sex. Why do you think it’s important for us to see pictures like the one you have posted?

It was very important for me as a black owned business and especially a black woman in the sex space to make sure my website featured black people in intimate settings. Black people as a whole for generations have been over sexualized and our bodies used for the sexual enjoyment of others. However, we have regular sex too, we are intimate, sensual and sexy AF too and that needs to be displayed more; and is a personal goal of mine.