Oh The Deflection

T.I. appeared on the Red Table Talk yesterday. As much as I had known T.I. to be a f*ck boy, I wanted to give him an out.

I said things like, “we all aspire to be better than the generation who raised us.”

That’s not a dis. My mother said she wanted to let my brothers' and I speak our minds, even when it came to presenting a case as to why we shouldn’t be on punishment. My mother and her siblings were not awarded such freedoms. She loved her parents, but aspired to be a better parent than her parents.

So, I suggested that perhaps T.I. was attempting to be better than his parents and mistakes will happen. On the Red Table Talk, T.I. asked Jada Pinkett - Smith, Adrienne Banfield-Norris (Gammy) and Tiny, “what was the purpose or place of a father in this society?” T.I. expressed his discern of just being a sperm donor who comes to pay for things and don’t have a say in how things are handled. I wanted to believe that he would admit to understanding his place in the world of patriarchy, but instead he approached it as if it were a foreign concept.

Initially, when the story broke about T.I.'s visit to the gynecologist with his daughter, I wondered how Deyjah was doing. I wished she could’ve been protected in all of this.

T.I. placed value on his daughter’s life based on her purity. For Deyjah’s sake, I wished for a misunderstanding. So yes, I wanted to give T.I. and out.

Then, Demetria L. Lucas, the host of Ratchet & Respectable podcast, made a comment on her post, in reference to some guy defending T.I. she said, “What could the world be if the bar of expectations wasn’t always on the floor.”

Sis said a whole sermon. Before her comment, I almost drank the Kool-aid. But I realized the standard for men is so low while the standard for women is so high.

There is a wife school, Roots of Royals (basically) telling women that in order to be a wife, you must never let a thing slip your mind, your friends should never come over and have a good time. After you’ve cooked, keep the food warm. It will hurt that man if he has to microwave his food. Your happiness must revolve around him. And this is specifically for black women.

Black women can’t be anything less than perfect and if she is, that’s why she’s single.

Perfection. That’s the bar for black women. The bar for men remain on the floor. And we pretend that it’s higher only to be picked by them, with all of our perfections while they get to be trash. Wow, what is life?

Demetria L. Lucas was right. We made excuses for T.I. when he talked about his daughter’s virginity being in tact, for the world to hear. As if her virginity belonged to him.

Even if he was joking, the joke was tasteless and thoughtless. In the midst of trying to maintain Deyjah’s pureness, he is also showing her what type of f*ck boy to end up with.

With everything we know about this situation, I have a feeling that this will eventually be Deyjah’s mom, Ranniqua’s fault for having a baby with T.I. in the first place.

Oh the deflection.